“Is this how I die?” I thought, as the frigid water numbed my body.
I was struggling to keep my head above the turbulent waters of Lochsa River, in the heart of Idaho’s rugged wilderness. The rafting trip with friends had been such great fun, until now. In just a few moments, everything had changed. Our paddle raft, with a group of eight friends and a guide, hurtled toward a boulder, and before we could do anything, it crashed and tossed everyone into the water. My floatation vest seemed to be pushing me up, but I was not coming out of the water. That’s when I realized that the raft was upturned, and I was pinned underneath it. The unrelenting power of the river waters dragged me violently, hurling me into rocks. I wasn’t a swimmer, and I did not have the muscle reflexes to get myself out of trouble. For what felt like an eternity, I tried desperately to come out of the water, but failed. It was in that moment that I recognized the inevitable, and wondered if this was it. With no choice, I made peace with my situation. Immediately, panic gave way to calm.
Maybe these are my last few moments? …. who should I live for?’ I found myself asking.
Pop came the answer, ‘My mother and sister are taken care of now.’
Let me give you some background. I grew up in a middle-class family of four, and had a pretty good childhood. Excelling in studies and sports, it felt like I was living my best life. But, then, life threw a curve ball. On my 16th birthday, my father abandoned us, throwing my family deep into poverty. Overnight, the roof lifted off from what I thought was our safe citadel. Even the walls crumbled away slowly and I became exposed to the crude reality of the world.
Instinctively, at the age of eighteen, I took upon the role of defender for my family. My objective was crystal clear: survival at any cost. To make it challenging and inspiring, I set myself a specific goal: within fifteen years, I’d earn Rs. 2 Crore ($500k in those days).
With such an audacious goal, I went into mission mode and became laser-focused on my sole duty: to get a good education, work my way up, become successful and put my family on a financially stable footing. Over the next decade, I pursued my goal relentlessly, and smartly. When you know where you’re going, the whole world steps aside to give you way, it seems. The signs were always there, and I was able to witness them in real time, quite eerily. Strangers appeared in my life who nudged, encouraged, and guided me. For instance, the following two incidents happened when I was about seventeen:
As I was going to take an important exam, I saw someone—evidently from out of the city—who seemed to be lost. I approached the stranger and offered help. He went on to become a mentor at that very crucial stage in my life. A second mentor came right when I was ready, too, for this is often the way these things happen. That time I felt a tap on my shoulder during a bus ride. Not only did this chat lead to another very impactful friendship (including being motivated enough to set a long-term goal), but it also led to another after that, which then led to yet another—all of which played very important roles in my journey. Thanks to these mentors and friends, I successfully cleared one of the toughest competitive exams in India and studied at Indian Institute of Technology-Bombay. From there, I came to the US to pursue a PhD in Materials Science at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. How could I ever have known that chance incidents would alter the course of my life? At the time, I often wondered if these coincidences happen truly by chance, or whether there was something else going on.
Anyway, back in the Lochsa River, still drowning, I was comforted by the fact that my family was no longer in dire straits. I have had a life insurance policy since I started working, and moreover, I was single with no other responsibilities. Ironically, this had allowed me to finally let loose and seek adventures like this trip in the first place. The same trip that was about to kill me. Worse, having no unfulfilled responsibilities, I now had lost all willpower to fight for life! As the current and rocks battered me, and I swallowed water, I remember asking:
‘Why do I need to keep living?’
The answer came back sharp and clear, in the form of a strong knowing inside me: ‘You have not yet fulfilled your purpose in life.’ Then, almost in an instant, an insight sprang, directing me to ‘walk.’ And I did. Using my hands to feel beneath the upturned raft, I ‘walked’ until I found the edge and bobbed up, freeing myself from the underwater trap. I took a great big breath of Life. Later, at the hospital, I learned that my left shoulder had been dislocated the entire time.
Reflecting on the experience hours later, I realized how easily life can slip through our fingers while we’re consumed by daily struggles—juggling responsibilities, chasing ambitions, or simply trying to stay afloat. In the weeks and months that followed, I kept returning to that insight. ‘You have not yet fulfilled your purpose in life.’
Where had it come from?
Yes, of course, it arose from within me, but from a deeper core that I had known nothing about. As I spent weeks and months thinking and contemplating, it all led me to the same questions: ‘If life can slip any moment and all we may have is limited, what truly matters in life?’ ‘How can I live with joy and purpose wherever I am and at whatever stage I am in life, instead of constantly getting lost in the pursuit of this goal or that achievement?’ And, as I further reflected on life—its twists, its turns, and the seemingly random events that shaped me—I began to wonder: what would have happened if I hadn’t met certain people, read certain books, or faced certain struggles? To me, there seemed to be a pattern to life, but I could not put my finger on it, yet. All I noticed was that people who figured this pattern rode out the high and low tides of life, and sailed through life fairly smoothly, while the rest, myself included, struggled.
You might relate to this tension, between chasing external success and yearning for something deeper, more meaningful. You may be a parent juggling endless responsibilities, from cooking, cleaning and shopping to meeting deadlines at work, all while wondering if you’re truly present for your children. Or maybe you feel stuck in a career that pays the bills but leaves you unfulfilled. These everyday struggles might seem ordinary, but they often hide deeper questions, like: ‘Am I living for a purpose?’ Or, ‘Is there more than this?’
Perhaps you’ve been asking yourself these questions? Maybe they’re even keeping you awake at night? Or maybe you used to ask them and have now found more purpose and meaning in life, but wish to dive deeper. You may even be living a Yogic or spiritual path and would like to understand the science behind your experiences. Wherever you are on your journey, through this book, I offer you a very warm welcome.
For me, back then, I felt that the answers lay somewhere at the intersection of the materialism I was chasing and the inner seeking I’d rediscovered. But, being scientifically minded, robust answers eluded me, for one was the domain of comfort and logic, and the other of purpose and freedom.
From my academic life conducting research in cutting-edge semiconductor technology, and subsequent professional life working on the latest chip-making technology, I’ve learned that the key to solving any problem lies in understanding the root causes. The process begins with a clear problem statement, gathering the complete background information, forming multiple hypotheses, and then, testing them in the lab, and comparing the results. You eliminate the unlikely explanations until you find the one that best fits the evidence.
Life, with all its complexities, is not so different. When faced with a personal challenge, I explored it from multiple perspectives and found that our past experiences shape our understandings—our hypotheses. And, naturally, each person will arrive at their own unique solutions for their unique hypotheses. That’s the nature of life—problems are universal, but solutions are deeply personal, colored by various hues of logic and emotions. So, how, then, do we make sense of life’s challenges? The answer lies in understanding the fundamental forces common in all of us that give rise to these problems in the first place. Joyful living is natural to us and when we are confident problem-solvers, we experience more of it, more of the time.
This book is a roadmap for cultivating this state of natural joyful living, and solving the emotional, intellectual and spiritual problems that hold us away from it, all toward forming a connection with your inner voice, just as I momentarily did in that river. That voice is the kernel of our being, the unseen guide that is always with us. And, I believe that one of our human purposes is to seek it and journey toward it. More on this later.
My journey began with a dramatic wake-up call and led to the questions: ‘What truly matters?’ and ‘How can I live with joy and purpose?’ It seems that most of us face these questions at some point. Whether navigating career pressures, managing family obligations, or seeking fulfillment in everyday moments, these deeper questions are universal. Our struggles with life and searches for meaning form the foundation of this book.
Why Now?
In today’s world, many of us lead lives filled with responsibilities, ambitions, and achievements, yet feel a deep void within. We strive for happiness through material success, relationships, or personal growth, only to find that fulfillment remains elusive. Despite our best efforts—embracing mindfulness, reading self-help books, or seeking spiritual experiences—lasting joy often slips through our fingers.
The problem isn’t lack of effort; it’s our “inside the box” understanding of life. We compartmentalize philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience, failing to see how they interconnect. We chase goals while neglecting the inner work required to experience joy in the here and now. The answer, of course, isn’t to give up all goals, renounce all responsibilities and just sit in a present state. The answer is to welcome all aspects of ourselves—to become fully integrated, and fully human. It’s not about one or the other—material or spiritual, inner or outer, earth or heaven, self or other—but about union. About balance. Four-way balance, in fact.
In this book you will find a digestible collation of ground-breaking research in the fields of neurobiology and psychology, which shows the inner workings of four fundamental mindsets that influence our thoughts, words, actions, and reactions. These four mindsets are the root causes, the deep drivers, behind the way we live our lives. Between them, they explain all of human behavior, rationality, emotions, and faith. By understanding them, we gain insight into the problems we face and the most authentic and effective paths to our solutions. Some of these solutions could be “out of the box.”
The Journey Ahead
You don’t need a near-death experience to start this journey to joyful living. It begins in the quiet, everyday questions such as, ‘Am I living true to my values?’ ‘Am I balancing my responsibilities with my dreams?’ Whether your challenges are dramatic or subtle, this book is your guide to unlocking infinite joy and wisdom within you. It offers a practical framework rooted in ancient philosophy, modern psychology, and neuroscience. By the end of this journey, you will:
- Understand the four fundamental mindsets that shape your actions and decisions: the Defender, the Negotiator, the Giver, and the Yogi. The Defender shields us from harm, ensuring safety and stability in an unpredictable world. The Negotiator strategizes, balancing risks and rewards to achieve meaningful goals. The Giver fosters compassion and selflessness, finding purpose in uplifting others. The Yogi rises above all the others, embracing joy and peace through detachment.
- Discover how to fully engage and harmonize these mindsets to achieve balance, joy, bliss and peace in your life.
- Learn how to transform your daily actions into a source of joy through Karma Yoga.
The book is divided into three parts:
- Discovery: Uncovering the deeper purpose of life and understanding the mindsets that drive us.
- Exploration: Diving deep into the neuroscience, philosophy, and psychology of these mindsets.
- Transformation: Integrating these insights to awaken the Karma Yogi within you, unlocking your potential for creativity, purpose, and joyful living.
This journey isn’t about quick fixes or temporary happiness. It’s about cultivating lasting joy through inner transformation. This isn’t just a book about concepts—it’s a guide to transformation, offering actionable tools to help you thrive in your personal, professional and spiritual life. Unlike many self-help books that focus solely on either spiritual ideals or practical strategies, this book bridges the two worlds. As you progress, you’ll find practical exercises, reflective questions, and actionable steps to help you integrate what you learn. Use a journal to record your insights and reflections as you work through the chapters if you like. To get the most from the book, I invite you to self-reflect, question the author, and feel empowered to disagree! Everyone’s journey is unique, all perspectives are valuable and the path to joyful living is deeply personal. Your journey may not look like mine, or mine like yours, and that’s okay. This book is meant to be a guide, not a manual. I encourage you to approach it with an open mind and heart, allowing the concepts to resonate in their own ways.
Finally, remember this: the treasure chest of infinite joy and wisdom is already within you. All you need is the key. Let us craft it together, one step at a time. With this promise in sight, let us embark on our journey by addressing the foundational question: Why are we here?
A Note to the Reader: While the tools and principles in this book can support mental well-being, they are not a substitute for professional therapy or medical care. If you are experiencing trauma, anxiety, or depression, seeking guidance from a licensed mental health professional or an established spiritual organization is essential. Karma Yoga can serve as a complementary practice, but healing often requires tailored support.
OM Shanti Shanti Shantihi